Takin on the creepers at the Phelps Compound of HATE.
Got into Topeka Saturday nite. Before I checked into hotel, I took a drive by the Phelps compound to envision the next day’s creative invasion. There wasn’t a singe car on the entire block. The compound was dead quiet and not a single Flag on the property. Hit the hotel bar for some liquid inspiration and drew out my plans for “1st Amendment” attack to take place the next day (Sunday) at High Noon.
Sunday morning, blood pumping through my head, heart and hands. Pull up to the compound at 11:15am. The street that was empty last nite is now full of vehicles. Not one spot on entire block. Also noticed 20 large, brand new Flags rising from their fence. All upside down. They new I was a comin! But they don’t know what they’re in for.
While tryin to figure out new logistics and where and how to unveil this magnificent portrait, a women pulled out of a spot directly across street form entrance of Dracula’s Castle. She lived across the street and was leaving for work. Someone high up is on my side. Darted to the perfect spot.
This cool dude (Toby) was just hangin around and introduced himself to me. He wound up givin me a hand getting the veiled painting and easel to the roof of my truck.
At high noon exactly, I cranked up my truck’s radio to the sound of Lady Gaga (the creepers hate Lady Gaga), climbed to the roof of the truck and unveiled my masterpiece.
A few passers by oggled and gave thumbs up. As I proceeded to add the creeper’s compound (burning in flames) to the background of the portrait of Fred and Shirly, The Topeka police department showed up in force. They were takin pics and measuring distances of Betsy (truck) to curbs. I hopped down and introduced myself to the PD. Always respectful of the PD, anywhere I am. They said they received a call/complaint. They handed me a citation for the loud Gaga music. Even though it couldn’t have been that loud, It’s a 1989 suburban, with same factory, busted speakers. I took the summons like a man with no argument. I had bigger things to do. Respectfully gave them all my legit paper work.
Finally Lieutenant Haggart approached and let me know the city’s ordinance in regards to protesting at the compound. I let him speak. He told me that protesters must be at least 50 feet from the WBC, and that I was 16 feet away. Way to close by law. That’s When my long planned trick came to light. I said; with all due respect Lieutenant, I am not protesting or picketing. I am familiar with my right as an artist. I am just a mere artist legally parked on a public street, and I happen to have a PAINTING on my truck. It is not a sign. It is a work of art. Therefore I am not protesting and I refuse to move from this public spot on this particular street.
Lt. Haggart called his chief, the city attorney, etc. He came back over to me and said; we don’t know what to do in this case, so we have to let you stay. I could see in Lt. Haggert’s eyes that he just found out who and what I was. I gave him the look of respect he deserved and he to me as well, without words spoken.
I JUST HUMILIATED THE DEVIL!
Everyone wants to confront these creepy crawly scum suckers, but they sue everyone who dares step on a strand of grass that is on their property line. It seems they have the city by the loins. They prod around knowing no one dares come to their turf.
Hehehehe. Hello honey I’m home!
I got nothin to lose, and I’m crazier then any of you inbred, ballbags! And NOBODY knows how to use the 1st amendment better then me (25 years of Activism in NYC, baby).
They thunk I’d be a piece a cake. They expected some screamer with a sign with some bad words on it.
Well they got the Charlie Sheehan of the art world at their front door for 3 days.
I stayed and painted for 5+hrs. And they must’ve been livid that I got to stay at their front door painting a portrait of Grampy Phelps, in pink panties and high heel shoes, riding the devils lap, while his daughter Shirly (dog’s body) with her tongue hangin out was waiting for a ride on Satan’s lap.
Little by little they came in and out. Takin pics of me. One big bald Phelps paced back and forth in front of me for the 6 hrs I was there. Supposedly to intimidate. At one point he was joined by one of the pale, dead stare, children (poor things) and they began to sing unrecognizable hymns. Naturally from the top of my truck while painting their compound in flames, I began to sing over them. Not yelling or protesting, but putting appropriately directed words to song. Oh the sheer pleasure of giving these
@#$%^*mutants a VISCIOUS TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE.
I was goin to leave Monday morning to my destination Dodge City to repaint the rooftop Flag mural. But somethin told me to stick around. I’m getting under their thin skin. I’m stayin!
Pulled up next day (Mon) in front of Shirly Fhelps home (they own homes on every corner near the compound). Put the painting on the hood of truck for all to see, and started to play my harmonica loud and screechy ( not well). The creepers were startled. Running in and out of each others home, making calls, driving frantically around the block and back and fourth. Like ants when u put syrup on ur finger and drag it across their determined marching line. They were scurrying in disarray. HE’S BACK!
3 cop cars and Lt. Haggert. I cud see the (very subtle) smirk on his face while he was getting out of his squad car. He knows why I’m here. I know why he’s here. There’s an unusual showdown. I’m not the usual visitor to this compound, and I’m honored that they sent the best to deal with this. A mutual respect. We both have a job to do and we both respect each others stance. It’s what real men do!
He gave me the run down. The crybaby creepers were getting frustrated that someone was getting to them. They all came creepin out when the cops they called, showed up. Lt. Haggert said; this is a citation for residential picketing, and politely suggested I leave. He knew my response before I said it.
With all due respect Lt., I am not picketing nor protesting. I am just parked on this public street playing a soft sounding harmonica, with a painting on my truck.
I stayed till sundown. It it was glorious to win on day two!!!!
Was set to head to Dodge City for sure on Tues Morning, but for some reason my truck drove itself back to Shirly’s creep cave. I could not leave without one more shot at the creepers so-called legal iron curtain. I parked in same spot as yesterday. I put painting on hood of truck, and opened a bag and had lunch on hood of truck.
I said to no one aloud: Ah just parked here on a public street having lunch. Ham sandwich and Twinkies!
No harmonica today, respect to the lieutenant. Today we are going to sing. And sing I did. Don’t believe I can get arrested fro singing happy songs, eating lunch, with a painting (not sign) on truck.
Ten minutes later squad cars and yes, my friend Lt. Haggert. Once again the inbred creepers scurried to the Lieutenant. I received a third citation. I was ready to get cuffed and bring national attention to this theater of macabre and violation of my rights, but my (gray area) plan worked again. Haggert said the city attorneys office is STILL trying to find out if I am in the wrong, so he cannot arrest or order me to move. Win # 3.
Crazy !@#$%^& creepy inbred, haters, so-called legal champs – 0
Crazy, America luvin, scraggly, dirty, traveling, Patriotic artist - 3